5 years ago and some 17 days, I took my vows as a priest. What did this mean?
Nothing, I discovered, until I gave birth to my son. And every moment since that one particular moment (11:17-ish), everything I thought I knew about life, existence, happiness and our human lot vanished into the ether of WTF.
As it turns out, it's a complete shock to get over yourself, and expand into a universe of real need. All the theories fly out the window, and there you are, committed to each and every moment, without any idea. Hope vanishes... but replacing it? Moments of terrifying realness, deeper than joy, wider than sorrow.
"You're in the soup," was a favorite oft-saying at the Buddhist University I attended.
Soup's got nothing to do with it. Just a whole lot of scrubbing.